“Because of my birthday.”
“Because of decisions she made and things I failed to notice.”
Teddy climbed into the chair.
“What did you fail?”
Sebastian sat opposite him.
“You asked me what we were doing for your birthday. I told you Lavinia had it handled. I should have asked what you wanted.”
“I said bowling.”
“I know that now.”
“I said it before.”
Sebastian nodded.
“Yes. You did.”
His son looked down.
He deserved that correction.
He let it stand.
“I also missed Rose’s calls. I thought I could finish work first.”
Teddy traced a knot in the wooden table.
“Were you too busy?”
“I was busy. I still made the wrong decision.”
Mara stayed quiet.
This was not an apology she could make for him.
“I’m sorry,” Sebastian said.
Teddy looked up.
“Can I go bowling still?”
“Yes.”
“Not a giant one.”
“A giant what?”
“Party. To make it better.”
Sebastian felt an uncomfortable recognition.
He had already begun imagining a rented venue.
A larger cake.
Something spectacular enough to overwrite the memory.
“What would you like?”
“Nell. The boys. Pizza.”
“All right.”
“And Mum.”
“Of course.”
Teddy looked at the stove.
“Are they burning?”
Sebastian jumped up.
One pancake had become darker than intended.
His son inspected it.
“That one can be yours.”
For the first time since the night before, Sebastian laughed without feeling that laughter was escaping from somewhere it should not.
The papers in Lavinia’s desk were worse in their accumulation than any single page.
Sebastian did not open private correspondence.
He asked her, through a calm message, for the charts she used with Teddy.
She sent photographs.
Then the originals arrived in an envelope delivered by a driver.
There were weeks of them.
